Stupid, Stupid, STUPID!

Why Are We So Hard On Ourselves ?

Claire McGregor
6 min readMar 6, 2022


Photo by Samuel Regan-Asante on Unsplash

I am again pulling my blog topic from my life at the moment and asking, why are we so hard on ourselves? I know it’s not all of us, but many of us are much, much harder on ourselves than we would be on anyone else. I am a case in point. I started a new job a few weeks ago, working in the cash office of a local hospice. I am covering the role during maternity leave, so the current job holder is training me before she leaves. I’ve been doing the job for three weeks now, and I’ve made mistakes.

You might be thinking, of course you’ve made mistakes, you’re new to this role, and that’s what happens! You’re right, and that’s precisely what I’d say if the roles were reversed. However, what I’m actually saying to myself is that I’m an incompetent loser who should never try new jobs as I suck at them. I also feel pretty anxious and very sad.

One of the joys of having depression and anxiety is a chicken and egg situation. Am I anxious and sad because I don’t feel like I’m doing well at my new job, or do I feel like I’m not doing well because I have depression and anxiety? Both of these conditions affect my self-confidence, so it seems to make sense that the depression and anxiety are causing these feelings of inadequacy, but it’s impossible to know.

Why Are We The Last Person We Can Rely On?

I don’t think I am alone in being my harshest critic. I’ve heard people running themselves down far too often to believe it’s just me. The question then is WHY? Surely the one person we ought to be able to rely on for support is ourselves? We should be our biggest cheerleader, our best friend, the person who tells us we are AWESOME and can do anything we set our minds to. So why aren’t we? Why do I appear to be in a toxic, borderline abusive relationship with myself? Why are we so hard on ourselves?


Obviously, I have no idea what the answer to those questions is, so these suggestions are musings more than anything. It’s a brainstorm to see what I come up with because honestly, now…



Claire McGregor

I’m a writer taking my time to learn what good writing’s about and get my blog off the ground. I want to connect and learn. My Blog