How To Process Grief And Loss — Part 2
Welcome to the second post about how to process grief and loss. In part one, I talked about what bereavement and grief are as well as the different types of grief. So now we know what grief is, I want to talk about how to process it.
Before I begin, I want to stress that I know everyone is different, as is the source of their pain and their way of processing grief. This article is not intended to be a one size fits all how-to, just a guide to get you started.
Do Not Try To Ignore It!
As the saying goes, denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. Trying to pretend your grief doesn’t exist or ignoring it will prolong your grief. The only way to deal with your loss is to work through it. Acknowledge your grief, and take time to feel your pain as terrible as it can be.
Don’t Be Afraid If You Don’t Cry
Anytime you see death on TV or in a movie, everyone is inevitably sobbing. They burst into tears when they’re informed, and you see them crying for a long time. However, crying is not the only way to express or process grief. As I explained in my depression posts, I rarely cry when my illness is at its worst. Instead, I exist in a grey, numb void. A lack of tears doesn’t mean you’re not processing your grief.
There Is No Timetable For Grief
Some people think that others are taking too long to grieve or that they’ve gotten over it too quickly. As I said above, everyone deals with grief differently. You should only worry if they appear in complete denial or their grief is so profound you fear they may harm themselves. Otherwise, trust they’re handling it.
Don’t Judge Yourself
Grief is a strange beast, and it can throw up all kinds of bizarre and unexpected emotions. Here are a few examples:
- You might be angry that the person has left you
- Guilty that you neglected them when they were alive