Hi Elanor, I’m really glad you and your husband have found a lifestyle that works for both of you. It’s obvious you’ve had some real struggles with this and I feel bad for you. You’re right, there should be no discrimination for people who are different, regardless how it manifests.

Are there no jobs available for people with this condition? I know of lots of jobs in the UK invoice different start times so could possibly work for night owls. There’s also freelance work where you can set your own schedule.

My worry is you seem really angry about this. The lady in this letter is reaching out for help and yes, maybe she may need to adjust but on the face of it wanting to cuddle with her husband does not seem wildly unreasonable. She also doesn’t say if her husband is tired all day as a result of his late bedtime. I do understand a lot of what you say but I think telling her to suck it up is a little harsh. Isn’t marriage supposed to be about give and take?