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Facing My Fears…
Checking In On My Progress In Trauma Therapy
Ok, I might be exaggerating a little with my title. Facing my fears is important but in this case the stakes aren’t that high. While attending therapy and also watching YouTube videos I have discovered that a new trauma personality replaced the one I was born with. The personality, called “a doer” was designed to keep me safe. In a nutshell, I always need to be doing something, achieving something.
At work, I want to be the quickest to master all new knowledge and processes. At home, I want to tick as many items as I can off my to-do list and be able to learn new skills almost immediately. I hate it when I fail. I feel like a loser. I know this is not a rational way to feel.
Every skill takes time to develop, I can’t learn an entire new topic in a single night, and yet I want to. This need explains that sometimes when I learn something new I get so far and stop. Once I am secure in my general knowledge I don’t want to advance further as it increases the odds that I will hit a roadblock or knowledge gap.
Tarot
This same fear is true in my study of the tarot. I adore its history, richness and variety, as well as the advice and guidance I receive. I continue to get new decks and study card meanings, but in one area I have come to a…
